May 13th, 1953
150 Karnani Mansion
13. May. 1953.
My dearest Maj,
I have broken my record by writing to you first, but then what are records for, I find myself wanting to tell you how I feel towards you, it might be wrong, never-the-less I will take that chance. You will no doubt think because our parking is so new that I feel this way. I rush to assure you that a thought of this kind is utterly wrong, what I put down on paper tonight I have felt for a long time, I have tried my best to show that “I could not care less,” and towards the end, it seems I succeeded in making you think so, I write tonight saying this because all I needed was a parking to make me realize how much you do mean to me. “I love you, Omar,” like you I am no good at expressing my feelings, so forgive me if I use the oldest, most common phrase, but it explains how I feel. Love-making by pen and paper is completely new to me.
To change the topic of conversation, and get on to general things. The ship sailed at 9 p.m. and the Wing Commander was the last to leave the ship at 8.45 p.m. he was not at all keen to go ashore, the last of the passengers came aboard at 8 p.m. so actually I was not late.
The first pass made at me since your departure came from Captain Brahma but needless to say to no avail. and that applies to any one else who tries.
On my arrival back at the ship I went straight down to dinner full of Karachi and Pakistan, so much so that the people at my table said it would not surprise them if I lived Moslem. I would if it meant being near you. I suppose I am silly for talking this way as I am married with a baby, but in spite of that I mean what I say. I cannot state as you know, whether I shall be in Pakistan or not, but if in a few months you still feel the same way, there will be no stopping me.
I must close now as the ship has started to roll and you know what that does to me, I shall not say be good, all I ask is please love me a wee bit.
The very best for your future.
MAY 16TH, 1953
16. May. 53
Remember me? How could you ever forget. I am the girl who was your ship-mate.
You will see from the date that I am half-way across India and still more travelling to do, so if my writing is hard to de-cypher please put it down to the jogging of the train. I know… don’t tell me, it never is much.
There is not much news to give, except that I miss the crowd, Saeed with his scoldings about breaking you badly. Ramzan and his tricks. Margaret and Maria for giving me that jealous pang now and again. Brian for his passes. Junior for his serious talk but most of all I miss the person who was callous indifferent and cold. I did not realize that I could care for someone in so short a time, as I do for you.
Why does life have to be so hard sometimes.
Michael, is doing fine. He is even moving that first leg.
My pen is running out of ink, darn it, so for now.
So long and please write soon.
MAY 17TH, 1953
150. Karnani Mansion
17. May. 53.
My dear Omar,
You will be surprised to hear from me so soon but I had to write to thank you and your Uncle for your hospitality at Karachi, it was exceedingly good of you to put up with me at all, I hope you will convey my thanks to your Uncle, also to say if he and I were single then I would make my play for him, he is a very charming man and I sincerely wish you would follow his good advice.
I only arrived Calcutta today and find myself hating it, as I have never hated anything in my life. Of course, I have two interviews for prospective jobs on Tuesday. So that will make life a little more interesting. Personally I miss being on the ship with the crowd.
This was going to be a few lines as I am very tired and my sleep is putting its claim on me but I knew I had failed to mention your Uncle before, so please forgive my oversight. It is easy when you have a baby to look after.
I will now conclude with, no, not Good bye as this is such a small word which causes so much pain. I’ll just conclude with Auf Wedersehen.
Love you still
may 23rd, 1953
150. Karnani Mansion
23. May. 53.
Your letter was certainly a surprise, and having not mentioned receiving my three letters, I take it you have not received them, I am sure your cousin at Orient Airways will be only too pleased, there is no point in repeating what I have previously written so you will be seeing me at the beginning of next month.
I was sorry to hear about you not being set in a job but everything comes to he who waits. Personally, my time has been well spent, I have met old friends and made new ones but that does not stop me from wishing I were back home, another point I find I don’t agree with you the men in Calcutta. I say men, not Indians, are very much to my liking. I think you understand.
I had a suspicion that Maria was married or intending to as for Miss Duff. Gray. I knew about that too, Junior and she made a few statements the day we arrived at Karachi and Brian was very talkative on the journey from Karachi.
Regards my journey by train and finance I managed. I did not expect you to furnish me with any so why apologise. And about that last wave from the ship, I did not know it was expected of me. What terrible pad form on my part? I am sorry.
Michael is fine and like his mother has made a number of friends here, so much so I was offered one lakh. Of Rupees for him but NO SALE, my son cannot be bought.
You certainly took your time about writing, but seeing you are the great lover boy and every minute counts I must excuse you. But don’t let me disturb your fun, I am just the girl you knew on board the R.M.S. Caledonia, and that to you is too far back.
I take it Margaret is fine. I would like to see her when I am in Karachi, seeing I will be there 3 days off and on. I do wish Saeed was in Karachi, surprisingly enough. I find I liked him a lot.
I am sending you three (sorry four) photographs, which by the way are the best of the lot, that means more practice for me.
Your letter must have been written way hurriedly or some distraction caused the alterations. I suppose I must be grateful for small mercies.
Please give your uncle my kindest regards and thank him once more for me.
The very best to you.
My dear Maj.
You will wonder why I bother to write, it is because I care so much. But if by saying so makes you feel you can do anything you wish, I will have to take it you are wrong.
I fail to understand your change of attitude. If I have done something to displease please say what it is. If not and you feel our friendship should terminate well all I can say is I am sorry. What I said to you I meant.
Why have you got to keep your feelings to yourself? Maybe it would do us a good deal more good if we were frank with each other.
I hope you enjoyed yourself ashore. You failed to ask me to come with you, so had to do the next best thing.
Please write your reply with your heart not your head.
If I do not get a reply I will understand.
You will wonder what this is all about, let me explain, my mind has not been at ease about Margaret. I feel sorry and wish to do something to replace whatever unkindness I may have caused her. How do you suggest I go about it as I have said it won’t be easy.
Don’t forget to send roger ever with the car, with Laundry, or have you changed your mind about that. Ha! Ha!
See you about 9 p.m.
JUNE 30TH, 1953
30. 6. 53.
My dear Omar,
You will wonder why I bother to write it is because, on arrival at Karachi at 8.15 p.m. I found myself faced with friends I knew in Calcutta and have been staying with them. I tried to contact you this evening but was unsuccessful, however I will be flying back to Karachi on Friday. So if you care to see me I will meet you at the Taj Hotel.
Sorry about everything.
OCTOBER 10th, 1953
10. Oct. 53.
Long time, no see. How about seeing you some time. How, where and when? Will give all news personally.
All the best.